My Body

I’ve struggled with my self esteem and body image for a long time.  I’ve always wanted to be thinner, skinnier and have a gap between my thighs.  Since I can remember I used to buy magazines and look at the pcitures of the girls inside and wish I could be like them. I developed some very unhealthy eating habits a long time ago because I thought I should look like those girls. I exercised for hours a day because I wanted to be skinny. My weight fluctuated a lot, for a long time. 

Then I had kids and decided to get in shape and become a trainer to help other women get healthy after they had their babies.  I lost some weight, started running, teaching boot camp classes, training clients and felt great. Then I became a BB coach and lost a bit more weight, then gained some, etc...but these images of the super skinny women kept appearing everywhere!!  So my insecurities that I felt as a teenager started creeping back in, I need to be thinner, I need a six pack, I need a gap between  my thighs, I need to exercise 2 hours a day, I need to restrict my diet.  I’m 35 years old!  I’m smart. I know what I need to do to be healthy.  But these images of super fit moms, who seem to have it all keep appearing!  What the hell!??!

What about the images of curvy women who have it all??  Curvy moms who exercise 30 mins a day or when they can, eat healthy most of the time, induldge on occcasion, or skip a workout, or have a few bites of their kids kraft dinner.  The women who have sacrified their bodies to bring the next generation of people into this world?  Who have had their stomachs cut open, stretch marks from carrying twins, boobs that aren’t perfect.  Why have we (me) become obsessed with being so small and fitting into this stupid mould??

The majority of the population in Canada and the US are size 12 or higher. Why aren’t these women being highlighted? Why aren’t they in exercise videos?  Why aren’t they in cosmo or shape?  Why aren’t we celebrating the  women in our lives who are setting an example for their kids, doing their best every single day to lead a healthy life while embracing their curves?

Starting today, I am over it. I am over comparing myself to these super fit and thin women (no offence to those who are, I’m sure they have their struggles too and worked hard to get where they are)  I don’t think being obese is healthy but having curves, exercising and eating well is HEALTHY!